Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Right now story
Today Danielle and I are starting a read-a-long through the book 7 by Jen Hatmaker. This week we read the introduction and I can already tell that we are in for a serious heart beat down. Marla Taviano is leading us in the study. This week she encouraged us to give our "right now" story. I am not really sure where to start with this. Romans 8:29 has been the heartbeat of our lives recently, and I am really tired of God conforming me. Don't get me wrong, I want to be conformed to the image of Christ, but I am really worn out from Him chipping away at my stone heart. We are studying the book of Psalms as a church, and I find myself echoing David's frequent question of why the wicked prosper. I work as a mechanic, and try my best to honor God through my work. But I get paid on a sort of commission system, and if I am not working on a car, then I am not getting paid. Well we are in the slow time now, and we are all working to get as many cars as we can to work on. I find myself constantly keeping track of the other guys and finding little sneaky ways that guys are cheating the system to be "up" for their next car sooner. I find myself crying out to God about the injustice of it all and crying to Him as if I really wanted true justice to reign in my life. Meanwhile, God has provided abundantly for me through my job, and as Jen so eloquently points out in her book "this white dude is rich!" We are thankful for what God has given us, and try to live modestly. But when I look around the shop and compare my hours, I never compare myself with the guys that make less than me. Oh, the sneakiness of my wicked heart, wretched man that I am! I hope that through this read-a-long and the subsequent fasts, that God will draw me closer to Himself and expose the sin in my heart. "For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light" (Ephesians 5:8 ESV). Let the light of the Lord expose the darkness of my heart and bring it into the light through the power of Christ's finished work on the cross.
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Oh, wow, JJ. Thanks so much for sharing so honestly. I tend to do the same thing. Compare myself to all the people who have MORE than me.
ReplyDeleteYou two are really special to me, and I'm praying God gives you some tangible encouragement very soon. I know he will.
my husband works in the straight commission world of real estate - so we share some of your same frustrations. funny how we never look below the sales lines to compare with them, only above.
ReplyDeleteThat would be so frustrating, knowing that co-workers are prospering by cheating. It is so hard not to compare ourselves to others. But,I read recently, when we compare, we either end up feeling puffed up with pride, or beaten down. It never leads to anything good. But, I still do it all the time. That's awesome that you guys are doing the book together. I hope to get my husband to read it with me after I read it through the first time.
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